I showed him my bush... on skype.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
