so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
