Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
