You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
