Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
