My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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