There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
