Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
