i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
