I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
