laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
