I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
