Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
