I'm really into asian looking animals
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
