apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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