what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
