who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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