She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
