"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
