god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
