you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
