That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
