I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
