woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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