I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
