my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
