yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
