I need help removing her.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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