my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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