The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
