By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
