I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I can't turn off my feet"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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