So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
