i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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