I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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