i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
