oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
