Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
