yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
