my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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