3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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