I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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