You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
