he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
