Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
