my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
