If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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