i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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