You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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