you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
