you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
