it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
