its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
