haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
